Ancestral trauma is lessons passed down through the generations that negatively impact your mindset.
Let’s say your mother was raised by a single mother and your grandmother continuously told your mother, “You don’t need a man. You’re fine on your own. You don’t need anybody to help you. You’re strong. You’re powerful. You can do it on your own.”
It sounds fantastic but it’s detrimental to your mental health because now you try to do everything yourself. Your mind now sees any offer of help as a weakness. As a sign you aren’t competent enough to do it on your own. Not accepting help raises anxiety and can cause depression because now the focus to succeed is fully on you.
We all need help from people. If we want to build the life we want for ourselves, we need to ask for help to achieve it quicker. Oprah didn’t become a billionaire on her own. Yes, she worked hard but her success has a lot to do with the power team of people supporting her. Asking for help is not a weakness but, if that’s the narrative you’ve been raised to believe, that is what you will take with you and teach your children. It’s a cycle of mental trauma.
Whether the words came from a place of love and protection doesn’t matter. The trauma is still the same because we can hurt people with words of love as much as we can with words of hate.
You must be the one to break the cycle. You must be the one recognize the pattern and create a new one.
Here’s a vital piece to remember when breaking through ancestral trauma:
Understanding where your trauma comes from does not excuse the trauma done to you.
Let’s say your parent/parents abused you and you’re able to see why they abused you. Perhaps, it’s because their parents abused them or some ancestral trauma they inherited. It’s important to see the pattern and how your parents became who they were and how it affects you, but it does not excuse the pain they put you through.
If you’re able to forgive your ancestors through the process, great. But that’s not why you’re doing it. You’re on this journey of dismantling generational trauma so you can live a more fulfilling life and teach your children a better way of life. You’re doing this so you can better tackle the darkness that trauma created in your spirit.
Once you are conscious of the trauma cycle, you are better able to step back emotionally and understand that your parent/parents are a product of their upbringing. You can even sit down with them and ask to have an open conversation about the trauma you’ve endured and witnessed. Don’t be upset if they turn you down.
The point is not to heal them. It is to heal yourself. Their healing is merely a bonus.
Seeing you work through your shit and thrive because of the what you’re releasing may galvanize them to work on their trauma.
One way to start working through your trauma is journaling. Write down your thoughts and patterns of behavior you may notice. I have a compilation of journal entries my grandmother wrote and it helped give me greater insight into the ancestral trauma of that side of my family. I journal partly for myself but also for my future generations to find and hopefully learn from. Write down your progress of breaking the trauma cycle so your future generations can see how you did it.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What era were my parents/grandparents/great-grandparents in? What did society and its dictates look like then?
- How much of a voice did they have to speak up for themselves?
- What fundamental beliefs were they taught?
- How did their childhood and young adult life influence their state of mind?
Most of our subconscious fears and beliefs are ingrained in us by the age of eight and strengthen as we age.
Now is the time of spiritual consciousness and awakening. You need to start now and take control of your life.
Sending love, light, and magic your way💖✨🔮,
Janai
